Thoughts about the end are not the end

It is completely normal and natural for a person to have thoughts about the finiteness of life.

This is a fundamental aspect of the human experience. Just like disappointment, love, growth over the years—death, too, is a part of life. Not that we like to think about it. Most of the time, we even avoid thinking about it as much as we can, since it can be quite a frightening experience. This, despite the fact that it is an inseparable and even inevitable part of life—an experience that we will all eventually encounter.

These thoughts can be triggered by a variety of factors, such as encountering death or loss, experiencing a significant life event, or simply reflecting on the finiteness of one’s own life.

Encountering death can certainly be traumatic, especially when the circumstances are harsh (a terror attack or war, for example—particularly when it involves violent death). In the same way, death is especially painful when it involves someone close, especially when they passed away before their time (though who among us really knows what and when is someone’s "time"?).

Likewise, it is very natural to think about the meaning and purpose of life, and to consider what happens after we die. These thoughts can be troubling, but they can also present an opportunity for personal growth. Additionally, they help us put things into perspective, and appreciate the time that has been given to us.

Skilled coaches are often trained to help a person find their purpose in life. This is a kind of statement that can often be reached relatively easily with the guidance of a coach. Such a statement can serve as a sort of behavioral compass and guide for making various life choices—“a decision-making tool,” if you will—or more precisely, “a tool for examining decisions already made.”

After making certain decisions, usually those that are more significant in nature, one can use this purpose statement to “compare” and check whether the decisions are in harmony with it. If not, the statement can certainly indicate that we’ve just taken a “wrong turn” or made a mistake—or worse, taken a complete U-turn in relation to our principles, values, and core life foundations.

So what does all this have to do with thoughts about the finiteness of life?

The more aware we are of life’s finiteness, and the more we want to live a meaningful life, the better we’ll be at making meaningful, accurate, and valuable decisions and choosing our paths—so we don’t “waste our limited time on Earth.” On this note, it’s interesting to read Oliver Burkeman’s book Four Thousand Weeks.

Burkeman argues that one of the things that causes people to suffer, feel miserable, and live in distress is the belief that they must manage to complete, using various “time management” methods, all the tasks that were imposed or handed down to them in life.

The truth is, no matter how efficient task or time management becomes (time itself, in my opinion, cannot be managed—only tasks and priorities), we will never have full control over how we spend most of our time on Earth.

To live a happier and more fulfilled life, he recommends several strategies that not only help prioritize and complete major tasks but also allow us to do so free from the guilt of “but I didn’t get everything done.”

A coach is a thinking partner—someone who can ease the journey and life decisions, a partner who can definitely also help in coping with thoughts about the finiteness of life, in choosing a life purpose, and in selecting and managing the goals we wish to fulfill in life.

If thoughts about life’s finiteness cause a person significant distress, it may be helpful to speak with a mental health professional who can help explore and manage these thoughts and feelings.

And if not, then let’s focus on what there is to do, start with the “big rocks” (i.e., what truly matters to us), and enjoy the journey. In the end, the curtain will fall anyway—but until then, let’s not waste our time on nonsense!