The Power of "What Do You Want?"

Admin
Apr 17
2 min read

One Simple Question That Opens the Door to Desire, Meaning, and Commitment

Sometimes it starts with frustration. Confusion. A sense of “I have no idea where I’m going,” or maybe it’s just too much—too many goals, directions, voices. And then, when the space is safe and the noise quiets down, one simple, uncompromising question arises: What do you want?

It’s a short question—yet it holds deep, transformative power. It doesn’t ask what’s right, what’s possible, or what others expect. It turns inward, asking you to pause, listen, and choose.

In the coaching journey, this question stands out as one of the most impactful and empowering—for both the coach and the client.

The Value for the Coachee

“What do you want?” is a gateway to brave self-inquiry. It moves beyond superficial goals like “improve performance at work” or “feel more relaxed,” and dives deep:

What truly matters to me?
What motivates me?
What am I willing to commit to?

The answer—though it might take time to emerge—brings clarity, builds ownership, and aligns external goals with internal values.

The coachee begins to hear their own voice more clearly, to distinguish their genuine wants from social expectations, and to feel a growing sense of agency over their personal journey.

The Value for the Coach

For the coach, this question brings focus and alignment. It helps identify what truly matters to the client, enabling a coaching process that is relevant, purposeful, and centered.

More than that, it shifts the relationship from “expert guiding client” to a true partnership—one that empowers the coachee to take an active role in their growth. It builds trust, fosters autonomy, and supports deep, lasting change.

Suggestions for Coaches

Create a safe space: Ensure the client feels free to respond authentically, without fear of judgment. This is often a vulnerable and emotional moment.
Repeat the question—gently, in different ways: Sometimes the real answer emerges only after the third or tenth time it’s asked.
Encourage deep reflection: What excites you? What would you pursue if fear wasn’t in the way? What legacy do you want to leave?

Suggestions for Coachees

Take your time: Journaling, meditation, or heartfelt conversations can help uncover what you truly want.
Be honest with yourself: Even if your answer feels unusual, ambitious, or out of the norm—don’t censor it.
Embrace the process: Desires may shift and evolve over time. That’s not weakness—it’s growth.

A Practice for Today

❝ Write down three things you truly want. No justification, no editing. Let them sit for a day. Then revisit them—and notice what you now feel. ❞

In Summary

“What do you want?” is more than a question—it’s a mirror. An invitation. A doorway. It anchors coaching in what truly matters—and from there, anything becomes possible.