The Power of the Ask-Tell-Ask Feedback model

The Ask-Tell-Ask Model: A Coaching-Oriented Approach to Effective Feedback

 “Turn every feedback moment into a conversation, and every conversation into growth.”

Introduction

Feedback is one of the most powerful tools for growth, yet it is also one of the most misunderstood. Leaders and coaches alike often struggle to deliver feedback that strengthens performance without damaging trust. Too often, feedback is framed as a judgment or softened with outdated techniques, leaving both parties frustrated.

This article introduces the Ask-Tell-Ask (ATA) model, a coaching-oriented framework for feedback that replaces one-way instruction with dialogue, ownership, and collaboration. Rooted in inquiry and reflection, ATA helps recipients process feedback constructively and translate it into meaningful change. By contrast, the widely known “sandwich” method, where criticism is placed between two layers of praise may create short-term comfort but often undermines trust and weakens the impact of the message.

In the pages that follow, I present the ATA approach as a practical and research-supported alternative for giving feedback. The goal is to shift the mindset of feedback and give leaders and coaches a tool to use to deliver more effective feedback.

To accomplish this, I briefly examine the limitations of the sandwich model and explain how corrective transaction differs from ATA.

In this article, “coaching” refers broadly to the use of coaching skills and practices, whether by professional coaches, managers, or anyone applying a coaching approach in conversation (Reynolds, 2020). When mentioning client, I refer to the one receiving the feedback, or the coaching.

The Sandwich Feedback Model

For decades, many managers have been taught the “sandwich feedback” method, delivering constructive criticism by placing it between two layers of praise. Popularized in corporate training programs in the 1980s and 1990s, and widely associated with Mary Kay Ash’s people-management philosophy, the approach was meant to soften criticism and preserve morale.

While well-intentioned, research and practice have shown its flaws. People often focus most on the negative portion, discounting the praise as insincere (Stone & Heen, 2014). Because the model is typically a one-way, top-down message, it rarely fosters real dialogue or ownership. Many employees experience it as formulaic and even manipulative, making feedback feel like a dreaded event, not a growth opportunity (Sutton & Wigert, 2019). My own decades-long experience as a manager and a coach aligns with the last statement.

Some studies do suggest the sandwich can improve short-term performance in structured learning contexts (Prochazka, Ovcari & Durinik, 2020), but overall it falls short in creating engagement, trust, or sustainable change. This is where the Ask-Tell-Ask model offers a stronger alternative, shifting feedback from a scripted monologue to a collaborative, reflective dialogue.

The Ask–Tell–Ask Feedback

In contrast to the sandwich approach, the Ask-Tell-Ask (ATA) model reframes feedback as a dialogue, and not a one-way message. Rooted in coaching principles, competencies and values such as active listening, curiosity, and accountability.

The Ask-Tell-Ask Feedback model was established around 2005. Research conducted 10 years later (see French, Colbert, Pien, Dannefer, Taylor, 2015) found, among others that “it is a learner-centered approach for reinforcing and modifying behaviors. The model is efficient, promotes learner accountability, and helps trainees develop reflection and self-assessment skills”.

The process is simple: first Ask for the other person’s perspective, then Tell your observations clearly and factually, and finally Ask again to co-create the way forward. This keeps responsibility with the recipient, makes feedback collaborative, and builds the foundation for lasting change.

Research and coaching practice alike show that reflective, inquiry-based feedback is far more effective than prescriptive criticism.

As Marcia Reynolds notes, “Clients discover new solutions, take actions on solutions they have avoided, and commit to long-term behavioural changes more often than when they are told what to do” (Reynolds, 2020). ATA applies the same principle - feedback that sparks reflection leads to deeper insight and more sustainable growth, and is true for manager-to-employee feedback as well.

Why ATA Works in a Coaching Context

It Increases Respect in an Open Atmosphere

Feedback often triggers defensiveness if it feels like an attack. Asking first creates an open atmosphere and signals respect for the other person’s viewpoint. People are less likely to become defensive following an opportunity to feel heard. People rarely become defensive because of what you say; they become defensive because of why they think you are saying it. The topic being discussed is usually not the issue, it’s a person’s perception of your intent that drives their response (Hale, 2023). The opening “Ask” and closing “Ask” create psychological safety, a key driver of performance in teams (Edmondson, 1999).

It Builds Self-Awareness and Accountability and Encourages Self-Reflection and Ownership

By starting the feedback session with a question (‘Ask’), you invite the other person to self-assess and to think critically about their own performance before you give your perspective. This shifts responsibility for reflection onto them, making them an active participant in their professional growth (Stone & Heen, 2014). Research shows that executive coaching can significantly enhance leaders’ self-awareness and accountability, leading to improved leadership effectiveness and interpersonal relationships (de Haan, 2021). This process also increases buy-in, as people are more likely to act on changes they’ve identified themselves.

It Promotes Two-Way Communication

The ATA model shifts feedback from a one-way transmission to a dialogue, creating space for reflection, clarification, and co-created solutions. This approach aligns with research showing that participatory communication increases engagement and commitment compared to top-down directives (Men & Bowen, 2017). In modern organizations that emphasize collaboration over command-and-control, two-way feedback fosters trust and shared accountability.

Supports Learning Culture

The ATA model promotes curiosity and reflection, encouraging individuals to pause and assess before receiving external input. Over time, such practices shift the culture toward self-directed learning and resilience instead of waiting for external feedback.

Can Be Used for Both Positive and Constructive Feedback

The model is equally effective for reinforcing strengths and addressing performance gaps. Feedback framed around growth enhances engagement and performance. By structuring both praise and critique constructively, ATA helps maintain relationships while driving improvement.

It Creates Clarity Without Command

The Tell stage aligns with the coaching principle of challenge with support (Whitmore, 2009), offering clear, fact-based observations while maintaining a supportive context that encourages reflection and growth.

Research confirms that “helpfulness is much less predicted by technique or approach than by factors common to all coaching, such as the relationship, empathic understanding, positive expectations, etc.” (de Haan, Culpin & Curd, 2011). This underscores that it’s not only what you say, but how you say it (in a supportive context) that makes the difference.

Adopting a coaching leadership style encourages your employees to take initiative, strengthens their problem-solving capabilities, and supports flexible, adaptive decision-making (Ibarra & Scoular, 2019; Colgate, 2025). Ibarra and Scoular (2019) note that contemporary managers often lack the comprehensive expertise to unilaterally prescribe solutions, underscoring the importance of fostering employee-driven problem-solving and decision-making through coaching.

An additional way to ensure feedback that is both constructive and actionable is to structure it around specific facets of Knowledge, Emotion, Attitude, and Skills (KEAS), as recommended by Teri-E Belf, MCC. Belf, the first Master Certified Coach (MCC), and Founder and Executive Director of Success Unlimited Network® (SUN) developed the concept of Knowledge, Emotion, Attitude, and Skills (KEAS) as a framework for giving acknowledgment and feedback (Belf, 2019).

This framework emphasizes the interconnectedness of these elements in achieving coaching success. Over the years, I have applied KEAS in a variety of contexts, including using it as a structured approach to assess candidates during the hiring process, or evaluating their performance for feedback purposes.

By addressing what went well and what needs improvement across these four dimensions, and possibly others as well, managers and leaders help the recipient understand both strengths and areas for growth. This prevents generic praise or criticism from dominating the conversation and aligns perfectly with the ATA approach: feedback becomes specific, reflective, and oriented toward actionable learning.

Supporting this, Goleman (2000) found that coaching leadership enhances psychological safety, motivation, and personal growth, contributing to improved business outcomes. Of the six leadership styles he mentions, Goleman maintains that coaching typically has a positive effect on climate and long-term performance, enabling people to self-correct while growing skills.

Together, these findings highlight how coaching leadership cultivates autonomy, trust, and long-term organizational performance.

It’s Supported by Evidence Across Industries

Research across coaching, education, and organizational psychology consistently shows that people are more likely to learn, change, and sustain new behaviours when they are invited into reflection rather than being told what to do.

ATA has been successfully applied in healthcare training (Sargeant et al., 2008), corporate leadership programs (Buckingham & Goodall, 2019), and problem-based learning in higher education (Al Haqwi & Taha, 2015).

Sargeant et al. (2008) note that “integrating external feedback, particularly when it contradicts self-perception, requires a reflective process to reconcile differences constructively,” which aligns perfectly with the Ask-Tell-Ask model, where leaders surface the recipient’s self-view, offer observations, and then guide reflection to align internal insights with external feedback.

Al Haqwi and Taha (2015) emphasize that “structured, reflective feedback in problem-based learning enhances self-assessment, dialogue, and learner engagement,” further supporting ATA’s effectiveness in collaborative, high-performance environments beyond clinical education.

Buckingham and Goodall (2019) highlight the limitations of traditional feedback methods, noting that “humans are unreliable raters of other humans” and that conventional approaches, often focused on identifying and correcting weaknesses, can be largely ineffective or even detrimental, especially in the long run; instead, they argue that focusing on strengths and understanding individual reactions to performance is a more productive approach.

How to Apply ATA in Leadership and Coaching oriented approaches

The Ask-Tell-Ask (ATA) model works best when each stage is approached with intention. It’s not simply a formula; it’s a mindset of curiosity, clarity, and collaboration.

Step 1 - Ask: Invite Self-Reflection

Start by encouraging the other person to share their perspective. This opens the door to mutual understanding and primes them for constructive dialogue. Sometimes, it is enough to simply keep listening attentively and asking curious, open-ended questions, allowing the receiver to explore the situation and discover solutions on their own.

Many times, the best contribution a manager or coach can make is to “stay out of the client’s way” (and sometimes even out of their own way), providing space for reflection, insight, and self-directed problem-solving. This approach not only empowers the feedback receiver but also strengthens ownership, confidence, and long-term learning.

Examples:

“How do you feel that client meeting went?” “What do you think worked well and what could be improved?” “What stands out for you?” “Anything else?”

Coaching tip: Listen fully. Resist the urge to jump in too quickly with your own assessment. Even if you disagree, your goal here is to understand their perspective before shaping the conversation.

Step 2 - Tell: Share Your Perspective, when needed

When sharing feedback, be specific, focus on observable behaviours, and link them to their impact, rather than making it personal. You can also enrich this step by considering the KEAS dimensions (Knowledge, Emotion, Attitude, and Skills) highlighting what went well and also what could be improved. Go into details. This ensures feedback is balanced, actionable, and avoids vague praise or unhelpful criticism.

Example:

“Your preparation clearly paid off in the way you answered the client’s questions. I noticed the closing felt rushed, which may have left them unclear about next steps.”

Focusing on facts, on actions and their impact ensures that feedback remains constructive, not judgmental.

This is also an opportune moment to weave in additional questions, as they encourage deeper ownership and reflection. The more the recipient explores the situation themselves, the easier it becomes for them to identify - and commit to - he actions or solutions they will take moving forward.

Step 3 - Ask: Co-Create the Way Forward

Close by inviting them to shape their own action plan. This reinforces ownership and motivation.

Examples:

“How would you approach the closing differently next time?” “Is there anything you would do differently?” “What support would help you deliver it more confidently?” “How can I be of help?”

Coaching tip: Let them go first; your role is to guide, not dictate. By allowing them to share their ideas before you offer yours, you signal trust in their capabilities and keep the sense of ownership firmly with them. When your suggestions do follow, they’re received as supportive additions rather than directives, making it far more likely that the plan will be embraced and acted upon.

Getting Practical

A practical tip for managing feedback, drawn from my coaching and leadership work, is this: if the first “Ask” reveals that the recipient already has a clear and accurate grasp of what went well and what needs improvement, the “Tell” stage can often be minimized, or even skipped entirely. While this is not the norm, seizing such opportunities can transform the feedback exchange into a moment of empowerment, not correction.

In these cases, the leader’s role shifts from “instructor” to “facilitator,” moving the relationship away from authority and toward supporting self-discovery and goal achievement. By avoiding direct advice, orders, or imposed perspectives, the leader reinforces ownership and intrinsic motivation.

For example, in one executive coaching session, a team leader accurately identified her own presentation’s weak points, leaving our discussion focused entirely on solutions and next steps, eliminating the need to restating what she already knew.

However, when there is no acknowledgment or ownership taken of areas for improvement, as sometimes happens, the “Tell” step becomes essential. The key is to deliver it with sensitivity and curiosity, using active listening and open-ended questions to explore perspectives without unnecessary criticism.

Research on effective feedback (e.g., Sargeant et al., 2008) underscores that this approach fosters reflection and self-directed change, making feedback a sought-after and motivating part of the organizational culture rather than a dreaded, artificial event.

Over time, this can help embed an organizational habit of continuous improvement, what I like to call promoting excellence without sandwiches. Incidentally, the Ask–Tell–Ask method is sometimes referred to as “the new feedback sandwich”, only this time, the bread slices are non-threatening self-reflection, not sugary praise, while the new “filling” is objective, facts based, observable behavior and its impact, and mutual exploration, understanding and growth through additional asking and reflection.

Real-Life Coaching Example

Scenario: A sales manager is working with a high-potential account executive. His superior or a coach is leading a feedback inquiry session. This is how the ATA might look like:

Ask: “How do you feel that presentation went from your side?”

Tell: “You handled objections smoothly, and your energy was strong. One thing I noticed was that some of the technical details weren’t fully clear to the client.”

Ask: “How can you prepare those details more effectively for the next meeting?”

By framing feedback this way, the manager acknowledges strengths first, ensuring the one being coached feels valued and confident before discussing areas to improve.

The Ask part follows the DREAM (Determine, Reflect, Explore, Acknowledge, Make sure) practice recommended by Reynolds (2020), emphasizing that Reflection that precedes further questions is more effective.

D.R.E.A.M., [M - make sure - that there is a plan following] is a framework for having "uncomfortable conversations". It is in the same vein as the "reflective inquiry" practices Reynolds outlines in her books.

The final question (Ask) turns the responsibility back to the one being coached, prompting them to generate their own solutions and future actions. This keeps the conversation constructive, collaborative, and forward-focused, which are hallmarks of effective coaching, and it transforms feedback into a moment of professional growth, not just performance evaluation.

Client’s possible reply: “Next time, I’ll prepare a one-page handout with the technical breakdown so they can follow along easily.”

This not only sets a clear, actionable step, but also builds the client’s sense of ownership and confidence, turning feedback into a catalyst for better results.

Why Leaders Embrace ATA

The Ask–Tell–Ask model fosters a learning culture rather than a blame culture. Instead of focusing on mistakes or assigning fault, it encourages reflection, dialogue, and joint problem-solving, creating an environment where team members feel safe to experiment, take risks, and learn from outcomes.

ATA also aligns with modern leadership’s emphasis on collaboration, not on command. By inviting employees to share their perspectives first, leaders demonstrate respect for their insights, creating shared ownership of decisions and outcomes. This approach strengthens engagement and trust, moving away from traditional top-down hierarchies.

In addition, ATA equips employees with self-coaching skills. When people regularly reflect on their own performance and set goals for improvement, they internalize a mindset of continuous development. They begin asking themselves the same reflective questions even before a manager intervenes, increasing autonomy and resilience.

Research supports these outcomes: Edmondson (1999) demonstrated that teams with higher psychological safety, where members feel comfortable speaking up and experimenting without fear of judgment, and show better learning behaviours and improved performance. The ATA model directly contributes to this environment by creating a safe space for honest self-assessment, constructive dialogue, and actionable guidance, making feedback not just informative but transformative.

Conclusion & Final Thoughts

Feedback is more than a quick technique or formula. It brings trust and authentic visibility. The Ask-Tell-Ask model, shifts feedback into a genuine dialogue, one that invites reflection, ownership, and growth. Especially when conducted smartly, with care and compassion.

When leaders and coaches approach feedback as a conversation to co-create, they empower others to see themselves more clearly and to act with purpose. In this way, feedback becomes more about developing - an ongoing process of learning that strengthens both performance and relationships. 

“Feedback is not about fixing - it’s about discovering, reflecting, and growing together.”

References

Al Haqwi, A. I., & Taha, W. S. (2015). Promoting Excellence in Teaching and Learning in Clinical Education: The Use of Structured Feedback in Problem-Based Learning. Medical Teacher, 37(S1), S74–S78.

Belf, T., (2019), Don’t be a cheerleader, Learning self-responsibility through acknowledgement, in Choices, The magazine of professional coaching, https://www.choice-online.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/choice-Curated-collection-1.pdf

Buckingham, M., Goodall, A. Harvard Business Review (2019). The Feedback Fallacy. Harvard Business Review, March–April 2019 Issue.

Colgate, M., (2025). The Importance and Application of a Coaching Leadership Style in Businesses, published in Businesses 2025, 5(3), 32; https://doi.org/10.3390/businesses5030032

De Haan, E., Culpin, V., & Curd, J. (2011). "Executive coaching in practice: What determines helpfulness for clients of coaching?" Personnel Review, 40(1), 24–44.

De Haan, E. (2021). What Works in Executive Coaching: Understanding Outcomes Through Quantitative Research and Practice-Based Evidence. Abingdon, UK: Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781003127055

Edmondson, A. (1999). Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383.

French, J., C., Colbert, C., Y., Pien, L., C., Dannefer, E., F., Taylor, C., A., (2015). Targeted Feedback in the Milestones Era: Utilization of the Ask-Tell-Ask Feedback Model to Promote Reflection and Self-Assessment  Journal of Surgical Education, Vol. 72, Issue 6, p. e274-e279

Goleman, D. (2000). Leadership That Gets Results. Harvard Business Review, March–April 2000 Issue.

Ibarra, H., & Scoular, A. (2019). The leader as coach. Harvard Business Review, 97(6), 110–119. https://hbr.org/2019/11/the-leader-as-coach

Hale, J., (2023). Why People Get Defensive and What You Can Do about It, in Crucial Learning, 12 July, 2023. https://cruciallearning.com/blog/why-people-get-defensive-and-what-you-can-do-about-it/

Men, L. R., & Bowen, S. A. (2016). Excellence in internal communication management. Business Expert Press.

Prochazka, J., Ovcari, M., Durinik, M., (2020). Sandwich feedback: The empirical evidence of its effectiveness, ScienceDirect, Volume 71, August, 101649, https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0023969020301429

Reynolds, M., (2020), Coach the Person, not the problem, a guide to using reflective inquiry, Berett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.

Sargeant, J., Mann, K., van der Vleuten, C., & Metsemakers, J. (2008). “Directed Self-Assessment”: Practice and Feedback within a Social Context. Journal of Continuing Education in the Health Professions, 28(1), 47–54.

Stone, D., & Heen, S. (2014). Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well. New York: Viking.

Sutton, R., Wigert, B., (2019), More Harm Than Good: The Truth About Performance Reviews, in Gallup, https://www.gallup.com/workplace/249332/harm-good-truth-performance-reviews.aspx

Whitmore, J. (2009). Coaching for Performance: GROWing Human Potential and Purpose. London: Nicholas Brealey Publishing.