Change as Tides: Coaching Insights from the Sea

By Nachum Katz

One morning, I found myself standing at the edge of the sea, drawn into a quiet yet powerful scene. The water was clear, revealing two large rocks resting just below the surface. Waves approached—some strong, some soft—but all persistent. They crashed, receded, returned again.

As I watched, a quiet realization emerged: each wave altered the water’s surface, stirred the sand, erased patterns, and created new ones. Yet the rocks remained exactly where they were, ancient and unmoved.

That image became a metaphor that continues to shape how I understand change, resilience, and presence—especially in coaching. In our work with clients (and ourselves), it offers a compass for navigating the inevitable ebb and flow of life.

Unpacking the Metaphor

In this sea-side scene, we can recognize four symbolic elements that mirror our inner world and coaching process:

• The rocks are our core self—our identity, values, and deep inner strengths.

• The waves are external events or internal emotions—stress, conflict, joy, uncertainty, transformation.

• The clear water reflects our state of awareness—when it's calm, we see ourselves more clearly.

• The tides are the natural rhythm of life—the rising and falling, the doing and resting.

The insight? We are not meant to fight the waves—or to become them. Instead, we’re invited to be in dialogue with them, to stay attuned to their rhythm, and to remain anchored in what matters most.

A Double Invitation: For Coachees and Coaches

This metaphor offers something to both sides of the coaching relationship.

For the Coachee

It offers a liberating message: emotional or circumstantial fluctuations are not signs of failure. Waves don’t mean something is wrong. In fact, growth often happens through the waves. The real challenge isn’t to avoid them—but to remain connected to your core as you move with them.

For the Coach

It’s a reminder that our role isn’t to calm the sea, but to help our clients build awareness of it. We help them recognize when they’re in high tide (expression, action) or low tide (pause, reflection), and empower them to respond with presence rather than reactivity.

Supporting Models from Coaching Psychology

Two powerful, research-based coaching approaches align beautifully with this metaphor:

1. Gestalt-Based Coaching

Gestalt coaching centers on present-moment awareness. It invites clients to stay with what is arising now—without rushing to fix or change it. Like watching the sea without trying to stop it, clients learn to observe their bodily sensations, thoughts, and emotions with curiosity. Often, this simple awareness is what sparks transformation.

2. Acceptance and Commitment Coaching (ACT)

ACT helps clients accept discomfort, clarify values, and act with commitment. It teaches that the waves aren’t obstacles, but part of the path. Clients learn to make space for discomfort and move forward while staying connected to the values that ground them—their inner rocks—even when everything around them shifts.

Real-Life Coaching Reflections

A client in leadership burnout

She arrives overwhelmed, reactive, emotionally drained. Instead of diving straight into time management, we pause to observe the “inner weather”:

• What waves are hitting now?

• What do they stir up?

• And underneath it all—what inner resources or values have been forgotten?

• 
  

A client facing relationship change

Here, the waves are emotional intensity, uncertainty, a loss of control. Through coaching, he becomes aware of his resistance to change and slowly learns to move with it. As he listens to the rhythm, he starts exploring how the relationship might evolve—without abandoning who he truly is.

Try This: Map Your Personal Sea

Whether you’re a coach or a coachee, this reflection exercise may bring valuable insights:

1. Identify the wavesWhat emotions, events, or challenges are active right now? What feels like it’s crashing? What keeps returning?

2. Name the rocksWhat remains steady in you? What values, strengths, or truths hold firm even during upheaval?

3. Observe the waterIs your awareness clear or clouded? What helps you gain clarity?

4. Check the tideAre you in a phase of low tide (pause, recovery, reflection) or high tide (energy, action, expression)? How can you honor this rhythm?

5. Ask yourselfWhat might shift if I stop resisting the waves and instead enter into conscious dialogue with them?

   
   

The Presence That Holds Both

The waves won’t stop. They aren’t supposed to. Emotion is movement. Change is constant.

But just like in nature, there is beauty in that movement—if we take a moment to pause and observe it.

Coaching gives us a space where we can stay connected to our core, even in the storm. Not to get rid of the turbulence, but to remain present within it—anchored in what matters, open to what arises.

We are not the wave. We are not the stillness. We are the presence that can hold them both.

If this metaphor resonates with you or you’ve had moments where life felt like high tide or deep calm, I’d love to hear your reflections in the comments.